Out of all the advice that I give to mothers, #1 would have to be to not lose yourself. As mothers we are constantly taking care of others, often putting our needs and desires on the back burner.
Our lives become consumed with homework, soccer practice, and endless errands that we begin to lose ourselves in the role of being a mom. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood is not that much difficult you think.
It’s important to remember that you are more than just a mom.
You’re sexy, you’re successful, you’re confident…..you’re YOU!! If you ever find that you’re beginning to lose yourself, remember and give these tips a try on how to be yourself again.
Follow Your Dreams
You owe it to yourself to pursue your passion and goals. It’s foolish to believe that you can’t be a good mother and still follow your dreams. Being able to fulfill dreams outside of the home gives you the opportunity to love and live life to the fullest. Now I’m not saying that pursuing your goals and being a mom is an easy feat, it’s actually quite difficult and many sacrifices have to be made. However, I will say that by pursuing your goals you will find yourself to be much happier, more fulfilled, and an overall better mom.
As mothers, we are to lead by example and be positive role models to our children. We’re supposed to teach and support our children to tap into their own unique talents and challenge them to pursue their dreams. In order to do that, we first, must be pursuing our own dreams and living a life where we are truly happy and self-fulfilled in using our own talents to their fullest potential.
When I leave my mark on this world, I want my son to be proud of me. Not just proud that I was his mom but proud that I lived a life full of passion. A life that was filled with courage and that embraced adversity. I want him to be proud that I followed my dreams.
Get Your Sexy Back
Your pre-pregnancy wardrobe was filled with fitted tank tops and size 6 low rise jeans. Well now due to your weight gain they’re not flattering anymore but that doesn’t mean you can’t look absolutely gorgeous in other garments that are flattering to your frame. Sometimes you have to come to the realization that you’re just not the size you use to be but you can still revamp yourself to a woman that is even more confident now that you’re a size 10. Now I’m not saying don’t push yourself to be fit and healthy but I want to stress the importance of loving yourself and your extra 10 pounds!!
So what do you do when it’s time to revamp yourself you may ask? Well start with knowing your body shape and dressing that body shape. Just because you’ve gained weight doesn’t mean you don’t have great features that are to be accentuated. Choose outfits that fit and make you look comfortable. You want to emphasize the positives and remove the negatives.
As comfortable as those cotton Hanes panties are sometimes you just need to opt for the lace ones from Victoria’s Secret. For me, personally, I found out that when I wear sexy underwear I want to wear something nice. Something about wearing “nice” underwear under a jogging suit seems like a waste.
Have More Sex
It’s no secret that the dynamics of the relationship changes when children enter the mix. Your schedules and finances change but your sex life takes the biggest blow. The weight gain might be having you feel less desirable and taking care of a child 24/7 is outright exhausting. These are understandable reasons why your sex life might slow down but it shouldn’t stop. You want to keep your sex life going in order to keep your relationship fresh and vital.
Do you need to bring intimacy back into your life? Well, start off by changing expectations and making them realistic. The end of day sex might not work for you anymore but mornings might be better. The mornings allow you to enjoy your significant other before the dirty diapers and annoying co-workers begin to flood your mind. Unfortunately those spontaneous “take me now moments” are over. Those carefree Saturday afternoon and Sunday mornings sessions are a thing of the past. It’s nothing wrong with planning to have sex. I know it sounds uncouth and boring but hey it beats the alternative of having none at all.
Also remember that quickies are your friend. Even those brief intimate episodes can release frustration and leave each other connected and satisfied for the next round.
Make Time For Yourself
As hard as it might be, you have to make time for yourself. I know, easier said than done. Shoot, I’m still trying to get this myself but I understand the importance of “me time”. When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, your house suffers. When you’re more rested and refreshed you’re are able to meet your family’s needs better.
Wondering where you’re going to get this me time from? Well for starters, ask for help. Ask your husband to go grocery shopping while you go to the gym. Ask the grandparents to watch the kids for a Saturday afternoon while you catch a matinee. If you have a support group, use them as they can help lighten the load.
There is so much more to life than washing dishes and folding laundry. Sometimes we get so swamped with household chores that we allow the energy to be zapped out of us. Just put the broom down and relax.
Take advantage of bedtimes and lunch breaks. Capitalize on these moments of free time as they provide a perfect window to workout, polish your nails, or catch up on your favorite television shows.